Love and attachment
They are totally different.
Attachment is clinging tightly, possessive, jealous, does not give spaces to someone, constrict them. It's seeking happiness through someone else's.
Love, on the other hand, is kindness, compassion, and Bodhicitta1. It's seeking happiness in the happiness of another.
Kindness is the antidote of anger. Kindness it not the same as just being nice to someone. Kindness is seeing someone in the best possible light. If someone makes a mistake, kindness assumes it is not intentional.
Compassion is the antidote to attachment. Compassion is giving someone the space to make mistakes, to be imperfect, and to change.
Bodhicitta is the antidote to ignorance. Ignorance is trying to understand the world from a single point of view; my own perspective. Bodhicitta is seeing the world from someone else's eyes according to their needs. Experience things from their position.
So, the question of love comes down to three questions:
- Do I see them in the best possible light?
- Do I give them enough space?
- Do I see things from their point of view?
Bodhicitta is a Sanskrit term from Mahayana Buddhism that translates to the "awakening mind" or "mind of enlightenment". It combines bodhi (awakening or enlightenment) and citta (mind or heart). It is the deep, altruistic wish to attain enlightenment in order to free all living beings from suffering.↩